ACCEPTANCEAs Daniel drove toward his house something in his gut was telling him the house would be empty; he was hoping his gut would be wrong just this one time.
“Answer the damn phone!” He gruffed as he dialed the house phone one more time. He was a little hesitant upon entering the house. He had been trying to reach Janie for over a week and had yet to get a hold of her. Daniel knew how depressed Janie was when he left because of a work assignment. He quickly banished the thoughts she’d do anything to harm herself or Daniella.
|Reflection of Secrets|
by Reyna Hawk
For the past two weeks Janie had been doing her best to deal with the tragedy of losing her husband. She’d have her moments of feeling normal and then out of nowhere grief and depression would strike and it’d be hard to even get out of bed. Malachi was so sweet and understanding. The instant he came home from work he’d take over caring for Daniella. Janie marveled at how well he was with Daniella and how quickly she’d taken to him. As soon as he walked in the door she’d toddle her way to him with a huge smile on her face.
Janie always maintained a strong front around Daniella and most the time toward Malachi too. She always made sure to do what needed to be done and not procrastinate on anything. Even though, many days she had to force herself to even shower.
Janie always put Daniella’s needs and wants before her own. She missed Rico so much she had an aching that resonated deep into her soul. She’d give anything if she could go back in time and have him alive and by her side. Yet Janie had resigned herself to the knowledge that was never going happen. She had to move on and make the best of her life and be both mommy and daddy to Daniella. When she was old enough to understand Janie would explain what happened to her father. Until then she would show her pictures of Rico and always make sure each night Daniella hugged and kissed his picture before falling asleep. Janie also continuously sent Rico’s family in Italy pictures of Daniella. She even planned a trip to Italy for them in the next year or so. She wanted Daniella to know her family and her father. She’d never deny any of his family the right to see Daniella and she’d never deny Daniella the opportunity to know them.
Many times though Janie wondered if she was doing more harm than good. It was hard for her to keep her composure when Daniella would cry for her daddy. Janie didn’t know how to explain to an eleven month old baby that her daddy was never coming back. It broke Janie’s heart to know her baby didn’t understand why her daddy just disappeared one day. One minute he was in the car and the next he was gone. Janie knew Daniella didn’t understand any of what had occurred that day. Her hope was that by showing her the pictures and smiling as she talked about Rico, then Daniella would not cry and sense the sadness of him being gone. She’d explain all of that when Daniella was older. Yet, Janie feared by showing her Rico’s pictures it was just re-enforcing his absence and the confusion of him not being there. This was a chance she’d take though, if it meant Daniella would never forget him.
Janie had just finished putting her baby girl down for a nap and begun putting Daniella’s toys away that were strewn about the house; when the sound of tires on the gravel driveway had her peering out the window, knowing it was too early for Malachi. When Janie’s eyes spotted Daniel’s shiny black SUV she wasn’t sure if she should be happy or aggravated. Sure, she had missed him but something in her said he was probably furious with her. Janie thought twice before opening the door, but realized it was futile not to. She knew Daniel wouldn’t just leave; he’d either wait until she opened the door or until Malachi came home. She hesitated before opening the door, but hoped by smiling and rushing out to hug him that it would soften his mood.
|Author Reyna Hawk|
“Yeah, uh-huh” he sighed
“What the fuck Janie? What you forget my phone number? And where the hell is Daniella?” Daniel asked one question after another with hardly a breath in between. Janie could see the anger swimming in his emerald green eyes. One thing for sure, Daniel showed all of his emotions by his facial expressions.
“Oh just calm down. I’m fine and Daniella’s fine. She’s sleeping. And I didn’t call you cuz I knew I’d get this. I didn’t do it to worry you or make you mad. I just can’t stay in that place…” Janie’s voice began to crack as tears swelled in her eyes.
“Yeah, well you should of at least called ya pain in the ass” Daniel frowned putting his arm around her shoulder to give her a small hug as the two walked into the house. He knew she was upset enough as it was; he didn’t want to add to it by arguing and preaching to her.
Janie wiped the tears from her eyes as she took a seat at the dining room table across from Daniel. From her unkempt hair and appearance he could tell she was still grieving pretty badly. Janie had never been able to hide her feelings from him. From the time they were young children, he could tell when Janie wasn’t
doing well physically, mentally, or emotionally. Daniel studied her pale thin face with its shallow eyes for a brief moment, before saying anymore.
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